


Primrose

by Alurous



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 01:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17070779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alurous/pseuds/Alurous
Summary: Reader decides to dive into the deep corners of her brain thanks to a Clockwork, and relive the last memories she has of her mother who died when she was just a baby.  She discovers what she truly is, which causes her to get lost in Limbo, Cordelia is trying to retrieve her from her own mind.





	1. This Is Not The End

“where am I?” …  
“How did I get here?” …  
“Mom? Cordelia?” …

You really don’t understand how you got here, you are simply stuck in your own head, a dream, there has to be an exit, but as much as you look you cannot find it. This is what you get for gambling with a Clockwork (celestial beings who manages time and different universes). Not long ago you asked him for a favor, you wanted to see your past, a memory of your mother before she died when you were just a baby, however he warned you, reaching that far back can harm you not only emotionally but neurological damage, not many people have managed to come out of that state, you might find out truths you were not meant to know. But you had to know about your past, you have lived your life in the shadows, being resented, even though you belong to a Coven of witches you know deep down you are not one, there is some darkness inside you and no one has the answers, so you decide to take the risk. 

You’re in the master bedroom of the house, smell of lit candles, and a bouquet of flowers you have gotten for Cordelia that lay inside a beautiful white vase. You lay down on your bed, in the beautiful white mansion where you reside along with your girlfriend the most powerful witch in the world, and a bunch of other learning-to-be witches. You take a deep breath and you venture in as Clockwork instructed...

(dream world, you are in a state of coma on the actual world)  
you suddenly see bright lights, a home, very cozy and warm, toys on the floor, and you hear a noise “y/n” (your name) “Where are you off too honey?” a soft and patient voice comes out of the next room and you walk towards it, deep down you know that voice, you try to recognize the house you are in, but nothing rigs a memory. “there you are, making a mess I see?” you see your mother picking you up you look about two years of age. “What did I tell you about making your toys fly?” she smiled as she looked at your baby self. You were astonished... you couldn’t believe it, your mother, right there in front of you, within your grasp. “Mom?” you say nervously as you approach her, but no response. “She can’t hear you, this is a memory. Your current self does not exist in this universe.” a faint deep voice is heard around you.

You stare at her with tears running down your eyes. You think to yourself how beautiful she is; this is the first time you have ever seen what she looks like. “Mom... I need you” you looked down, sad, defeated, confused, your voice breaks as you say it “what am I? why did I become this? why does it feel like something within me wants to get out...?” you asked, knowing you won’t get a response. “Come on honey, it’s time for dinner” your mother says to you as she carries you to the kitchen. She walks past you, you feel a breeze and a scent, Primrose flowers, you loved it. Love and warmth filled you. 

“We need you to get you strong, sweetie. If you’re going to become a Nephilim, you need to your eat vegetables”. The words went right through you, that was it, what you needed to know, you asked, and she told you, “how can that be possible?” you said out loud. Your young self giggled.

You immediately get closer to your mother and try to touch her and communicate “Mom? Mom?” You can touch her but she has no actual response. “What do you mean become a Nephilim? I’m human.” Nephilim? The child of an angel and a human? Angels? Like really? I mean, witches and warlocks, and ghosts… I just never actually thought ‘angels’ were a thing and I’m one? You thought to yourself. 

And then, it happened. 

You felt the house getting warm, the room getting darker and your mother and baby you stood still, frozen, a shadow approached you, you couldn’t turn around to look but you felt it, it wasn’t good but it wasn’t evil, it felt neutral. “Now you know.” The shadow said and continued “You are not meant to exist, you are not meant to be here. Your whole existence is a danger to this world.” You stood there shook. “Aren’t angels’ beings of good?” you asked confused. “good and evil, is just a mortal coil. Humans interpreted it different. You can do bad and mean good, you can do good and mean bad.” Shadow paused. “Angels and Demons, fighting each other since the beginning of time, both have caused harmed to this and other worlds, both have done good. Light and Darkness, it is cause and effect.” You walked around looking at your frozen mother, “What happened to her?” you asked as you stared at the shadow across from you. “Are you sure you want to know?” the shadow asked coldly. You nodded. “Angels are an essence, they can’t really take a form. For them to be able to look human, they need to be born human, and for them to stay in that state they need to feed on one soul. The one that made them human in the first place.” You stood there, eyes wide open, not breathing. “I-I killed my mother…?” you struggle to say. “what that is good could possibly do such a thing? You might ask yourself.” The shadow kept talking, it’s words emotionless, selective. “Like I said, your existence is a danger, or a salvation. You will either watch your loved ones die at your own hands or watch someone else do it for you.” The shadow slowly banishes. You are standing there trying to grasp the idea, that everything that has happened to you is your own fault, unknowingly. 

Slowly you watch the room deteriorate, your mother letting your baby self go, screaming, and your baby self crying. You start becoming unstable, “Mom! Don’t go!” your mother slowly banishing, becoming but a mere memory, “Mom!” You try to reach her but it’s too late. You drop down to the floor, “Cordelia, I’m sorry, Cordelia.” You know what is about to happen, you don’t know how you can get out of this. You start screaming and suddenly everything goes black. “I’m sorry my love…”


	2. Echoes

you are now stuck in that dream state, in a state of comma, limbo. No one truly knew you were doing that, Cordelia thought you would wait for her to be there for you when you did it. But you didn’t want to put her through whatever you might find out. Cordelia didn’t know much about your past, you didn’t have pictures of when you were little, no family members and you never talk about it. 

She walks into the bedroom and immediately sees you laying down on the bed. (some conversation from her to you, that you can’t hear. She then notices you aren’t moving or responding, she figures out what went on and ran to you.) 

“Oh no.” she exclaimed. “y/n!, wake up!” she shouted at you while shaking you. “wake up sweetie!” she pulls your head toward her while sitting down on the bed. What do I do, what do I do, what do I do, she repeats to herself. She looks to the straight ahead, serious, breathing heavily, “I need to get into her head” she says out-loud knowing the consequences. Cordelia rushes downstairs to find Queenie and Zoe, she tells them what happened, the state you are in and what she is going to do. Zoe and Queenie worried rushed with her upstairs. Cordelia lays on the bed next to you, embraces you and puts one hand on your forehead and says “participes. Enim. Animum.” (share a mind) and repeats again, “participes. Enim. Animum.” Queenie and Zoe stand by, beside them, making sure they are comfortable and all goes well. 

Dark room, Cordelia walks through a door, very old wooden door, looks beat up, but even though the room is dark, there are flicker of lights coming from the creeks of the door. she opens it. Immediately the brightest light consumes the dark room and she walks into it. The door disappears behind her. She is now in a big field of flowers, Primrose, it was a huge endless field of flowers, beautifully green grass. She sees in the distance a child, so as she gets closer to the child she asked “hello?” . The child stops running around playfully and takes a notice of you, “Hi, are you here to play with me?” the child asked. She looked about 5 years old. “We can play, but what is your name?” Cordelia asked the child while looking around. The child smiles and says, “I’m y/n, what about yours?” she jumps in front of Cordelia looking up at her with a smile. Cordelias eyes opened, it was you, she has never seen what you looked like younger. “I’m Delia, nice to meet you.” Delia smiles looking at the kid in wonder. “Delia, thats a pretty name. would you sit down with me? I’m picking up flowers, I want to make a bouquet.” the child says as she sits down at the field of flowers. “of course, where are we Y/N?” Cordelia asked as she sat down beside your younger self.  
The small child picks up flowers and puts them in a small basket, placing flowers on Cordelia’s hair. “I’m not sure. She sent me here.” Cordelia is smiling as the playful kid gets curious with her hair. “You’re pretty.” Cordelia blushed enjoying seeing your innocence and says, “Thank you, you’re quite pretty too.” Cordelia caresses your younger self’s cheek. “who sent you here, y/n?” Cordelia asked curious. “Me.” The child responded, picked up her basket and started prancing toward a now-appearing house. Cordelia stood up to look toward the house that was not there before. Staring at the child now running toward the house she shouted, “What do you mean you?”, Cordelia now starts following the girl. 

As she enters the house, she hears a different “what have I told you about going outside? You know it’s dangerous out there!”. Cordelia looks around to see a older girl telling the kid she was speaking to. The older girl takes a notice of you and immediately shields the little girl, “who are you? What are you doing here?” scared tone in her voice. The little girl sneaks her head out to look at you and says, “She’s a nice lady, she helped me pick flowers earlier!” Cordelia looking at both children, introduces herself again, “My name is Cordelia, I am looking for someone. Who are you?” Cordelia slowly heads towards the kids. The older kid, who seems to be a teenager, around 15. “I’m y/n, there is nobody else here but me and her.” Your teenage self signals to your kid self.

Cordelia starts connecting the dots, this is the back of your mind where you keep your most sacred memories hidden. “Have you been here long?” Cordelia asked as she approached the children. “We’ve been here a while, she left us here.” The teen said as she grabbed the hand of her younger self and went to the living room of the house. Cordelia follows, “is she anywhere around?” she asked while looking around she notices there are a lot of pictures hanged on the walls. “No.” the teen said sternly, “She leaves us here but hardly ever visits”. Your kid self sat down on a kiddy chair that was on the living room and started counting her flowers. Cordelia looks at the pictures individually, not recognizing the people in the pictures. “Do you truly know where you are?” Cordelia turned and asked the teen. The teen got up from the couch, signaling her younger self to do so too and nodded at you. “Safe haven”, your kid self got up and grabbed your hand, your teen self headed toward the living room door. “Maybe you’ll be able to open the door.” Your teen self told Cordelia. “What door?” Cordelia asked. “Follow us” your kid self said.

“There is a room in this house we have never been able to open. Knowing myself, I’d keep important things in there, but we have not been able to open it.” The teen said worried as she walked towards it. All three of you are standing in front of a violet door, with very special designs that Cordelia doesn’t understand. “What have you done to try to open it?” Cordelia asked while looking at the door cautiously and with wonder. “We’ve knocked, tried to open the handle. But nothing. So maybe it was meant for someone else to open it.” Your teen self said, sad, she believes opening the door will free her and her younger self from the house. Cordelia lets go of the kids’ hand and walks towards the door, softly passing her fingers through the weird symbols on the door, trying to figure it out, and as she is about to put her hand on the handle she feels as if your actual hand is on top of hers helping her open the door. “Y/N” Cordelia says softly and turns the handle. They hear a click and the door opens on it’s on, it’s dark with a small lightbulb on the middle of the room. Cordelia goes in and looks around, the children behind of her, she notices someone sitting down on a corner with their arms around their knees. She immediately notices it’s you and runs towards you. “Y/N!” she falls on to her knees and tries to wake you. “Y/N!” she shouts as she tries to grab your head with her hands and make you look at her.  
“I had warned her. This was going to be dangerous. She is stuck and there is nowhere she can escape unless she finds her way back” Cordelia hears a faint deep voice coming from everywhere and nowhere.  
“Why isn’t she responding?” She asked with tears coming out of her eyes. “What happened, what did she see?” She kept hysterically asking, long silence.

“Her truth.” The deep voice now turns into a soft and gentle voice, now Cordelia can hear it coming from behind her. She turns around and looks at what looks like to be a woman figure. The children also turn around and both gasp and say at the same time “Mom…?” your teen self has tears in her eyes and your kid self runs toward the woman figure, but they can’t reach her, it’s like an invisible wall is there, your kid self keeps trying to push and bang at the wall.

“I’m not your mother, I’m just her face.” The entity says and looks at Cordelia. “This child is special, not meant to be human, not meant to have feelings or memories.” Cordelia still with tears in her eyes, turns toward the entity and asks “what are you talking about? What are you?” confused. “We are clockwork, we are in charge of time, the past, the present and the future. We are what we are not.” The woman riddled. The children confused hold hands and the teen shouts “Get us out of here!” Cordelia looks back at your none moving body and gets up, walking toward the woman. “Where is she?” she asked suddenly serious look in her face.

The woman looking amused said, “She is here, she is everywhere, and she is nowhere.” Kept talking in puzzle voice. Cordelia wipes her tears off and tired of not getting straight answers. “Look, I don’t care what you are, you will take me to Y/N, now!” she raised her arm to attempt to control the woman but fails. Cordelia looking confused while staring at her hands and the magicless situation.  
“Your powers don’t work here. Y/N, is trapped here like I said, if she Is to get out, she needs to figure it out by herself.” The woman says to Cordelia. Cordelia looks around and notices more pictures and frames, there are some pictures of you and her, Cordelia grabs one, smiling at the memory of it, looks up, closes her eyes and places the picture to her chest. “Baby, I don’t know if you can hear me, I am really hoping you can. I am here, I am looking for you, please show yourself, we can get through this, together. You do not have to go at it alone, not anymore, whatever caused you to do this, we can fight it, together.” The room is quiet, sobbing children is all you can hear. Cordelia opens her eyes, and looks straight ahead, nothing has happened. She looks around and still see the children, the woman figure and your lifeless body on the floor. “Please, help me help you.” She said under her breath, looking down and said.

“What if you can’t?” both children say at the same time, with a different tone of voice that doesn’t belong to their age. A sudden breeze hits the room.


	3. New Beginnings

Trust me, the last place I would picture myself living is in a school with a bunch of girls with uncontrollable hormones. But it was where I had to be taken to be able to control my powers, I was nervous mainly because I was used to being alone and not be surrounded with people, let alone girls, they get so annoying and I don’t think I can tolerate it. I guess anything is better than the hell hole I used to live at. You sighed as you talked to yourself while entering the gates of Miss Robichaux’s Academy for exceptional young ladies. “Lady” you said under your breath, as if I fit into that description, you smirked. 

“Did you say something my dear?” the red headed middle age lady spoke with a softness in her voice. “It was nothing Mrs. Snow.” You assured her. “Please, Darling. Call me Myrtle. Mrs. Snow makes me sound older than I am. You can never put a prefix on natural classical beauty.” She said as she took a drag out of her expensive cigarette. Myrtle put a hand on my left shoulder and you get startle a little, you don’t like being touched, as we headed toward the academies doors, “You’ll fit right in. I already have one of the girls assist you in getting to your room and show you around.” She smiled as she looked at you. You looked right back at her, worried, you really don’t want to deal with people, you are dreading this so bad. You nodded, letting her know you’re ready. The doors open by itself, you both walked in and the four albino body guards stay behind by the long black car. 

Describe the house, hallways and staircase, all the girls running around. 

“Here we go.” Myrtle pushes you to continue moving, as a blonde girl with dark brown eyes walks toward you. “Hello. I’m Cordelia, we’ve been expecting you. I’ll be showing you around.” Cordelia introduced herself in a well-mannered way, smiling, calmed. “My dear Delia, please show her to her room when you finish showing her around, even though she hardly has any luggage, I am sure she is tired from the trip.” The red head say as she walks away into one of the long arched rooms. “Follow me!” The blonde girl says while turning her back at you. “great” you sighed. 

She shows you the living-room, kitchen, library, backyard, and walks you through the greenhouse, “This is my favorite room in the house.” She motions for you to go in and look. “a room full of plants?” you asked, “It’s not just plants, you can feel magic flowing in and out of this room. It’s soothing, to me atleast.” She smiles and continues guiding you through the house.  
-  
“And here is your room, your bed should be the one by the window.” Cordelia opens the door of your new bedroom. “There are six beds in there.” You state. “That is correct, we share bedrooms.” Cordelia reassures. “Are you sure there aren’t any with fewer people in the room…” your worried voice is noticed by her. “Y/N, you don’t have to worry about anything. We are very strict when it comes to sharing bathroom time, sleeping schedules and thievery.” You sighed. “Fine.” You entered the room and settled in.  
-  
A new morning, bright, the sun shines through your window, the sound of 5 hysterical girls running around gossiping, getting ready is what woke you up. “I knew it” you mumbled to yourself. You get up and get ready for your day.  
-  
You are heading toward Myrtle Snow’s office, you are determined to have a talk with the head of this establishment. You knock on the door. “Come in” the red head says loud and soft. “Oh Y/n, how are you liking our little humble abode?” she gets up from her chair and says as she welcomes you in, inviting you to sit. “Mrs. Sno-“ you get interrupted, “Myrtle” she corrects you. “Myrtle, I don’t know how much you know about me…” you try not to say too much, you don’t want to explain your past and why you are how you are. “and I don’t want to sound like I expect the best commodities, but I cannot be in a room with multiple people. It’s… I get uncomfortable when there are too many people around.” You lower your head, you don’t want to sound arrogant. “Darling, I know your past very well, and I can’t imagine what it would have been like. I am very glad you are here with us now, instead of-“ she paused as she saw the torment in your face, “Well, I am not going to bring that up, but we will have to deal with it later. I am sorry you are not happy with your new roommates, if you want, I can put you in a room with my dear Delia, currently that room can have up to three people but she’s alone there, I’m sure you’ll both appreciate it. Would that be better?” she goes back to her chair looking at some papers. “Yes”. At least it’ll be much quieter.

You packed your stuff and got out of that crazed room, knocked on the door of your new room, the door slides open. Cordelia stands in front of the door looking at you with those deep brown eyes “Hey there, something wrong?” she looked intrigued as to why you would be knocking on her door. You took a deep breath “I am your new roommate, Mrs. Snow switched me.” Cordelia looked joyous at the thought of having a new roommate, Fiona wanted her to have her own room as the daughter of the Supreme should not have to share with lesser, and that made it a tad lonely for Cordelia. “Come right in!” Cordelia shouted. 

You walked in and put your stuff on the bed near the wall, you smiled at the sound of nothing, silence, crickets outside, you loved it. “I like this, why do you have your own room? If I may ask” you asked shyly. Cordelia closed the door to the room and sat on her bed, explained to you all about her mother, without having to say she’s the Supreme. “Oh, that must be tough.” You said as you took things out of your backpack. “What about you? What’s your mother like?” Cordelia got comfortable in the middle of her bed, looking at you, excited to have someone to talk too at night. You stopped moving for a moment, looking at your backpack, thinking about what to reply. “I don’t know.” You said with a certain grieve in your voice and continued unpacking. “Oh.” Cordelia said, long silence. You felt the awkward breeze, you turn to her “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound…” you paused for a moment, “I didn’t knew my mother, I don’t really talk about it, so it’s difficult…” your heart felt achy so you put your hand to your chest, pressing your fingers in motion of clawing your heart out. Cordelia got up from her bed and walked up to you, she placed her hand on your shoulder, “it’s OK, I’m not going to bring it up again, but you can talk to me whenever you want to about anything.” She said with a smile that could warm any heart. You flickered at her touch, you didn’t like to be touched but you knew she wasn’t going to do anything to you. You looked to her and said “Thank you.” And nodded.  
-

“It’s been a month, you don’t let me get close to you, when I touch you you jerk away. What did I do?” Cordelia said annoyingly mad at you. “You wouldn’t understand, I’m sorry.” You were doing homework at a small desk beside your bed while she spoke behind you. “Help me understand, please.” Cordelias voice soften. “Why are you so interested in getting to know my head?” you turned towards her, “I’m not friend material, I have proven that yet you wont let it go.” You turned back to your paper. “We are roommates, bound to see each other we might as well try to coexist and learn about each other.” She sighed and sat on her bed staring at you, you felt the long pause and her gaze on you. “I’m not giving up you know.” She said playfully. “I noticed” you rolled your eyes and stopped what you are doing. If you tell her your past, what are you going to lose? She doesn’t seem like she goes around gossiping, so might as well do what she says. You sighed and turned to her. “alright.” She got excited and stared at you so deeply, you could feel your stomach having butterflies, what the hell is going on, you thought to yourself. “What do you want to know?” you immediately regretted this. “why don’t you like people touching you?” Of course she would start with that one. You took deep breathes.  
(This might be difficult for some people, I don’t know… just warning) 

“I grew up in foster care, my foster parents got arrested not long ago for child pornography, on which I wa-“ you paused, this isn’t something you enjoy talking about. You pressed your fingers against your thighs trying to grasp strength not to cry. Cordelias face realizing where you are heading and terror in her eyes, you looked at her and gave her a broken smile, “well, let’s just say when people touched me it wasn’t for support or sympathy, so I grew to dislike it.”, Cordelia immediately asked “Is that why you wont let me get close? Why you push people away?” you nodded agreeing. “I’ve never had friends, family… I don’t know what any of that is like. It’s difficult. So I am sorry if I might seem like a total bitch some times, but it’s better for you to stay away from me. Saves us both headaches.” You turned around back to your desk, you weren’t going to answer more questions, hoping she got the message. “That is not a good enough reason. I’m determine.” Cordelia reassures you. “ay caramba…” you said under your breath. This chick ain’t going to give up.  
-  
The moon shines through the window of the room, beautifully light, stars all over the place. You and Cordelia are sitting beside each other, shoulder to shoulder, contemplating how beautiful the night looks. “Gosh, I wish this moment would last forever.” Cordelia said with sparkle in her eyes. “It’s been 8 months since I’ve been here and the night has always been this beautiful.” You told her. “I know, but when you are sitting with your best friend it makes it even better.” Cordelia winks at you. You could feel all these emotions and feelings whenever she’s around you, when she is close, you don’t understand why, this is not something you’ve planned and you don’t even know if she likes you. “I guess. Could of asked your other best-friends and let me sleep.” You scoffed, hoping to get a response that would let you know. “true, but it wouldn’t be like this.” She stared into the moon. “How?” you asked. She placed her head on your shoulder, silently, she did not reply, she just stayed there. You just placed yours on her and stayed there, complete silence. “Cordelia…” you said, you knew what you were gonna ask but you couldn’t control it, you wanted to let it be but you needed to know. “yes?” she didn’t move from her position. “I have been meaning to ask you something” your nervousness could be noticed. She lifted her head and looked at you, her face inches from you, you could see her looking at your eyes the your lips. “I..” you shocked, “I, well, you see-“ Cordelia without thinking leaned forward and kissed you. You opened your eyes wide open, you froze, the warmth of her lips on such a cold night, nothing has ever felt better than this moment, you slowly placed your right hand on her cheek, and the other one was holding her. You closed your eyes and let your lips do the talking, she wasn’t stopping and neither were you. Your foreheads touching, eskimo kissing. “I can’t do that with my other friends.” Cordelia laughed. “I sure would hope not, otherwise I’ve had the concept of bestfriend way off” you said sarcastically. 

“So, does this mean we’re girlfriends?” you asked.  
“I guess we have no other choice, we sealed it.” Cordelia replied.  
“Dang, I had my eyes on that Veronica girl.” You played with her.  
Cordelia acted surprised and punched you softly on the shoulder. “Well she did told me she liked you..”  
You gasped, “OK, bye.” You motioned to get up.  
“Hey!” Cordelia grabbed you and pulled you down. “Do I have to fight for you?” she asked softly.  
“I was yours the moment you started annoying me.” You laughed, and kissed her head. You knew everything would be fine.  
“I knew it the moment you knocked on my door.” Cordelia whispered so softly and low that you didn’t truly heard it but she smiled.


	4. Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continue of chapter 3, when Cordelia and reader were younger and their first break up.

“Tell me again how this is supposed to work? We are in a relationship but not really?” You were infuriated at Cordelia. “You are scared to tell your own mother about us? Not to mention you never said she was the Supreme!” you were agitated, you understood why you two kept your relationship a secret, but the unimportant role Cordelia gave you it stung, real hard. “I’m just your Roommate afterall” you snarled. Didn’t even introduced you to her.

Cordelia was trying to calm you down when you both went back to your room after a long ass dinner with the Supreme who decided to visit us. “You don’t understand, she can’t know, she won’t accept it.” she tried to get you to lower your voice even though you were not shouting or making a scene. 

“Why does it matter if she won’t?” you asked, you couldn’t understand how she could care what her mother thought when her mother obviously didn’t care about her. “Why didn’t you tell me your mother was the Supreme?” 

Cordelia sigh, “People tend to act like they like you when they know your mother is the all mighty Supreme, people in this school, you never know if they actually care about you, or about making an impression on Fiona.” she sat on the corner of her bed, “I didn’t wanted you to be like them.” she lowered her gaze toward the floor

You went to her and sat beside her, “I am not like them. “ you placed your hand on her hand.

“I know that, and I love you for it.”

“I don’t care what the Supreme will think about me.”

“I know.”

“Then why do you?”

“She’s my mother, you wouldn’t understand...” Cordelia said and directed her gazed toward you.

That comment hit you too hard, you let go of her hand. “Because I’ve never had a mother?” you stood up from the bed. Cordelia knowing, she made a mistake tried to go after you but you kept walking away. “Wai- I didn’t mean it that way!” door slammed behind you. 

-

You were very introvert, but when you live in a house full of girls, hardly any privacy, you are bound to make acquaintances. I would think of them as friends, it was fun sometimes just hearing them laugh and make silly jokes. There were a group of girls, who were complete nerds, and you just loved it, they would play Dungeons and Dragons and video games, you enjoyed spending time with them, they didn’t gossip about any of the other girls, they would just be in the common room having fun and laughter, Veronica, Monserate, Patricia and Elena were their names. 

You walked into the common room, enraged, but you tried to calm down, you don’t want people to ask you what’s going on, you wipe the tears coming out of your eyes and notice that the girls were there playing D&D and you catch their attention.

Elena immediately jumps when she sees you, you are certain she has a crush on you, and no one knows about you and Cordelia. “Y/N! you came in just in time!” she sounded euphoric. “Oh? Just in time for what?” you replied, and she smiled heading toward you “our new campaign, silly. Come here.” She extended her hand, so you would grab it and follow her, however you just followed giving her a I’m sorry look. “I don’t know how to play, I just enjoy you guys playing.” You said as you sat down on one of the chairs around the circled table. “It’s okay, just follow our lead, you will have this character.” You grabbed the paper Veronica handed you and read it out loud, “Augusta Winterbottom?” you repeated the name on the paper, “Yes, she is a lvl 5 Paladin. She fits you really well.” Veronica said. “OK, what do I do?” you asked, and Elena giggled beside you.  
Cordelia had gone down to talk to you but she saw you with the other girls and she didn’t wanted to bother you, she knew you don’t really have much contact with people, it would do you good, she also sees how Elena is being very flirty almost hovering over you, but she ignored it and left.

-

Dinner time, currently there are about 30 girls and 4 teachers living in the academy grounds, there are multiple long tables at the dining room, usually the table where Myrtle sat at the head is where Cordelia sat too, and you would seat on the other side of her, beside you was Elena and Veronica, beside Cordelia was Monserate and Patricia. Fiona was also there, sitting on the other head of the table, ranting and talking about how spectacular her life is. All you heard was “and then George Clooney was flirting with me and I told him…” and you dosed out of that pitiful story. 

“Pass me the butter, my dear.” Myrtle gestured to Elena, “Here you go aunt Myrtle.” Elena got up and handed Myrtle the butter. You notice Cordelia’s eyes on you, but you’re still hostile and refuse to acknowledge her presence, Elena is talking to you about something silly, you aren’t really listening, you’re just eating your food and nodding, you just want to get up and get away, forget half of this day ever happened, but the problem is, your roommate is the cause of it. Monserate, close friend of ordelia, who is in the group with Elena, Veronica and Patricia, waved her hand at you to try to catch your attention, “Hey Y/N, would you like to have a sleep-over? We can continue our campaign in our room!” she sounded energetic. Then it hit you, that is perfect, avoiding the situation by just not having to go to your room at all, you finally looked at Cordelia who looked miserable and guilty, all you wanted to do is run to her and hold her, but you are hurt too, “Count me in”, Elena grabbed your arm and laid her head on your shoulder, you clenched your fist and held your breathe immediately, trying to avoid having a panic attack and make a scene, she removed herself from you quick enough that you just let the air and stared at Elena, you gave her a simple smile. 

You noticed Cordelia getting up from the table, “I’m sorry, I need to excuse myself.” She sounded sad and heartbroken, you gazed at her leaving the room, everyone around you had a confused face, Fiona scoffed and you could hear her say “strange that one”. You swallowed hard, you knew what she must of thought, the right thing to do… you thought to yourself. You sighed and got up from the table, Elena went for your hand, trying to pull you back, “stay, please.” She said in a low voice, you pulled your hand, and looked at Myrtle, she nodded at you, she understood, “please, excuse me.” 

-

You ran behind her, she must be in the room, you stood in front of the door and tried to open it but it was locked, you knocked, “Cordelia, let me in.” you knocked twice more, “Cordelia, you know we don’t lock doors here.” You sighed and made a hand gesture which unlocked the door. You looked around the room but she wasn’t there, you closed the door behind you and noticed the bathroom door is close, you headed to it and knock, “Delia, let me in, please.” You said with a soft voice, the fact that she might feel insecure about something pained you more than your own insecurities. “Why did you leave the dinner? Everyone looked so lost.” You tried to open the door but couldn’t, she was laying on the door to keep it shut. “That was nothing, Delia, she caught me by surprise, there is nothing there.” You sighed and laid against the door too. 

You could hear her whipping away her tears, “why did you let her though.” She whimpered, “I know it’s stupid, but I don’t like the way she looks at you, the way she thinks she can touch you.”

“She’s not the one I crave to touch me, though.” You exhaled, putting your hands on your head, this whole day was absolutely silly and a complete misunderstanding, taking words too seriously and miscommunication. 

“Do you sometimes wish that wasn’t the case?”

You just stared at the walls, “yes.” It pained you to say it, “I sometimes wish I could just disappear, not to worry about anything but myself” you stood up and out your hands against the door, “But then I met this girl, who I’d give anything too, and no matter how much I want to pull away, she pulls me back in” Cordelia opens the door, you see her standing there with tears on her eyes, “like gravity.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, I didn’t want to keep anything from you.” She put both her hands on your face, caressing your cheeks. 

“You were right, I wouldn’t understand, though. I didn’t have a mother or a father, and I completely understand why you didn’t tell me about Fiona.” You wrapped your arms around her waist and pulled her to you, your foreheads touching, your noses kissing, she wrapped her arms around your neck and kissed your lips softly, the warmth of her body against yours, you pushed her against the wall, giving her soft kisses on her neck while she moaned softly on your ear, you…

Now this is what would have happened if they made up in that moment, but they didn’t, this is how things went down.

You’re in front of the bathroom door and Cordelia is starting to open the door. “like gravity” you finished your sentence. 

“I don’t think we can do this.” Cordelia said with tears on her face.

“Do what?” you sounded confused, your eyes begin to water, you knew what she meant.

“This, we can’t do this. Who are we fooling?” Cordelia pushed you out of the way and headed toward her bed. “Keeping a secret like this? It’ll bring problems…” 

“To you, because the only one it’ll hurt is you.” You scoffed and stood in front of her. “You are sacrificing happiness to get the approval of your mother.” You felt somewhat betrayed, only person you put your trust into, “You would choose to be miserable for the sake of her. It’s outstanding.” You picked up your backpack and started putting your clothes in it. Tears flowing out of your eyes, Cordelia looking at the wall at all times, scared of making any type of eye contact. You turn and look at her, she refuses to see you and you scoffed “Have it your way.” You took your stuff and shut the door behind you. Cordelia busted out crying in the now quiet room.

-  
-

You knocked the door of the room down the hall, Monserate. Elena and Veronicas room. “who is it?” Veronica answers. “It’s Y/N, could I come in?” you could hear Elena flying to the door and opening it up, “Y/N!” the girl was ecstatic to see you and at her door nonetheless, “what are you doing here?” she asks while analyzing you, “and with your bags…” 

“Well, I was wondering… if I could stay. Here. A few days…” you took pause in each word.

Her eyes glimmering at the thought of you, you could see this is going to be a problem immediately, she lets you walk in, Monserate approaches you and asks “Everything OK?” she gets close to your ear so she can whisper “Something happened with Dilly?” you nodded. “oh.”

They agreed for you to stay.

You laid down on your now cot bed, looking up at the roof thoughtful, the snoring noises coming out of the warm beds that surround you, Elena insisted you put the cot between her and Monserate, all you could think about is her. If for some reason, you are the problem, the same need Cordelia has to please her mother, is the same need you have to be acknowledge to not be kept in the dark, you are both just as broken and screwed up. You are no one to judge the way she acts, goodness knows you would hate for her to say the same to you. You felt bad, you started sobbing as quietly as you could. Monserate could hear you, she wasn’t fully sleepy, she faced you checking if any of the other girls were awake,

“hey, listen” she whispered. You shook when you noticed she saw you cry, you wiped your tears with the sleeve of your PJ and faced her. “yeah?”

“I don’t know what is going on between you two, and I don’t truly know you, but have in mind, the last thing you both want is have the whole school know you are gay for the Supreme’s daughter who is also your roommate.” 

“Why would that be the matter to anyone?”

“First, the Supreme, the embodiment of power, youth and sexuality, Fiona. Last thing she wants is her daughter dating a nobody.” Monserate continued, you flinched when she said nobody and made a motion like you got offended, “I’m sorry, but that is how she will see you. Not rich or powerful enough for her.” She explained.

“Second, you both share a bedroom, a couple of teenage lesbians in a room alone?” she rolled her eyes, “that wont end well.”

“I have no idea why all of these matters to anyone, its our lives.” You said.

“As long as you live under a ruling of other, you are just a peon who has to follow such.” Monserate said sternly.  
Trembling you immediately started crying, “We are both so similar and yet to different. We broke up, she would much rather be unhappy and please Fiona than be happy. How does that make sense?” you asked her.

“You don’t like being touched, right?” you nodded in response to Monserate “You choose to shut everyone out than having to deal with contact of others. How does that make sense?” you looked at her lost, she was right. “The same way you refuse the most known human instinct, contact, you would much rather be unhappy and alone. She rather her mother’s approval over her own.” 

“How did you know?” you asked, “about my issue?” you added.

“You won’t go near us, I never see you hand shaking, high fiving, and you almost had a heart attack at dinner tonight when Lena grabbed you by surprise.” She rotated on her bed and covered herself, “now rest, I need my beauty sleep.” She concluded.

 

-  
-

 

A few days have passed, you were outside, a little after midnight, the backyard was so beautiful, the grass was shiny green when the moonlight would hit it, flowers bloomed everywhere, Roses white and red, brugmansia bells, all over that lead to the greenhouse, it was completely quiet all the girls were asleep, you weren’t suppose to be there at that hour, but no one saw you come out and you just needed to breathe and think. You just sat by the staircase that lead to the house, looking up at the moon and the stars, beautiful as always, feeling the breeze hit you, freedom and calmness, all your problems would just go away even if it was for a moment or two. 

“Y/N?”

You heard a voice calling at you, it was dark, you didn’t expect anyone to be up but the lights inside the greenhouse were on, you saw a figure and your anxiety hit tenfold. 

“Hey, what are you doing up so late?” you asked Cordelia.

“I should ask you the same question.” She also looked nervous.

“I just needed some fresh air, you know…” 

“I couldn’t sleep, I find the greenhouse is the best place to just relax and be productive at the same time.” 

You two have been avoiding each other for the past week, only little hello’s here and there, you have not spoken about what happened, and it immediately feels like you should, no one is around, it’s just you and her, calm, if you were going to hit the subject, now was the time. You took a deep breath and as you were about to open your mouth, she speaks.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” she says in a soft voice, your heart pounding. 

“I believe it’s I, who should be sorry.” 

“No, look, I… I guess I have this mindset that I have to meet people’s expectations of me and that is how my whole life has been, and how it’ll probably be, I don’t want to bring you disappointment.”

“What?” You got closer to her, cupping her face on your hands. “I have lived my life avoiding people, not building relationships, staying away from people, and the moment I met you, all that loneliness went away, but then all this longing for you to always see me, is there. I just felt unimportant for that moment, which is silly considering that is how I always wanted to be, unimportant.” She embraced you as you spoke, tears in her eyes. “We are the two moldy screws left inside a jar.” 

You looked into her eyes, “I will love you even when I feel like I hate you. But I will not change you.” 

“Could we just, keep holding each other?” she pleaded.

You stepped away from the embrace, and looked at her, you knew no matter how mad you could get at her, she will be your world, you chuckled and smiled, extended your hand towards her. She looked confused at your actions, you looked around you, and noticed the brugmansia bells that surrounded the school, you waved your hand, you were good in telekinesis, and the bells started to move in perfect harmony, not too loud, but enough that it wont wake anyone up. 

She placed her hands on yours, and you leaded her to a waltz under the stars, you placed your other hand on her waist, she placed her arm around your neck, and followed your lead. The sound of the bells, and moon on top of you two, you could swear the stars would twinkle on every step you two took. 

“You didn’t tell me you could dance you jerk.”

“You didn’t ask.” You smirked at her. 

“Does this mean you’ll come back to the room?”

“Give me a few more days. I swear me, and Lena are getting somewhere.” You teased.

“Would you stop teasing me with that, you know I don’t like her anywhere near you.”

“You have possessive traits.” You chuckled, and she was pouting at you, you caressed her face and placed a kiss on her pouty lips, she froze and you whispered on her ear, “You know, if you were willing to tell the world I’m yours, she wouldn’t hit on me so much.” 

“I’ll just drop a house on her. Solve the problem.” She chuckled, “Give me time.” 

“I’ll wait forever.” You two continued waltzing through out the night, as if you two were the only people in the world.


	5. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continue to where Chapter 2 was left of. On which Cordelia is trying to see how to get you out and she learns quite a lot about your backstory, argues with the woman figure who wears your mothers face and sees what you see.

“What if you can’t?” The distinct distorted voice coming out of both children can be heard, their eyes glowing white. Cordelia immediately runs toward the children, leaning forward to caress both their cheeks.

“Have you noticed this room?” Cordelia talks through the children. “Have you noticed this is the only room in the house you have kept locked?” she picks up the picture she had placed on the floor, “This room is full of pictures of us, this is our memories, the room you chose to keep our memories, you protected it.” She straightens herself and stood up, walking around looking at the pictures. “Whatever reason you chose to do that is because these memories are strong, these memories you need to protect them. This was your room wasn’t it? The nursery rooms.” 

“I opened the room; the room is full of pictures of me. If anyone is getting you out of here is me, my love.” The white glow in the eyes of the children fade, it seems as if you could connect for the slightest moment, you made sure she knew you could hear her; however, you have no idea how to get out of this Limbo. Cordelia headed toward the woman figure who wore your mothers face. “You guard her memories, you wear her mothers face, but you have a deeper connection to her otherwise you wouldn’t be here. She is a piece of a puzzle that you must protect, your kind wouldn’t bother with meaningless.” The woman figure doesn’t respond, they are emotionless after all, but Cordelia could tell she was right.

“I can’t release her, only she has that power.” 

“That doesn’t mean you are powerless, show me what she saw that caused her to lose it.” Cordelia demanded from the figure. The children were poking your seemingly dead body on the corner of the room.

“As you wish.” The woman figure waved her staff, a beautifully purple gem staff which glowed whenever she used it.

(The same scene that happens on Chapter 1, Cordelia will be looking at, however it wont affect her as it did You because it is not her own memory)

“Cordelia, I’m sorry, Cordelia.” You know what is about to happen, you don’t know how you can get out of this. You start screaming and suddenly everything goes black. “I’m sorry my love…” 

Cordelia sees you calling out for her, tears consuming her, how she is unable to help you to reassure her that everything will be fine. “Y/N!” she shouted, and then the whole room went white and she was back inside the locked room. 

“a Nephilim?” Cordelia spoke out loud, “Nephilim’s are mythical creatures, they haven’t walked this Earth since the beginning of time, the mere existence of one is impossible.” She looked at the figure, “How can she even exist? Is that why she has attracted all these terrible things?” 

“The child has never been sick a day in her life, she has never had a cut, a bruise or a nose bleed without it healing completely seconds later. Those who are sick and are near her almost get better instantly. She will forever stand out in a crowd, like I told her, humans set a line of what good and bad is, and by that good attracts evil. A human vessel especially natural born will forever be unstable being a Nephilim.”

Cordelia stood there, completely in shock, there signs were there, and she never noticed them. “Why did this cause her to go into perdition?” 

“Usually an Angel can hold a vessel for 48 hours, if they do that vessel will not survive the possession. Y/N, she was born a vessel already, 32 years without knowing her own truth, the Nephilim is fighting to get out of her body.”

“How could she has survived this long?” Cordelia kept asking in wonder, confused.

“Her mother was the first sacrifice to her child, that unstained soul gave her the life she needed to go through life blindly. Her childhood… it was necessary to suppress her powers.” The woman figure kept speaking. Cordelia immediately went towards the woman.

“Necessary? Are you saying you let that happen to her on purpose?”

“Yes. It was necessary.”

“It was necessary to put a child through the most horrendous and disgusting trauma? A being so pure and innocent?” Cordelia full of rage and anger kept going back and forth at the woman figure.

“We do not expect you to understand, we do not need you to understand, nor do we need your forgiveness. We did what we must do for her to turn out the way she did.” 

“Broken.” Cordelia looked at the woman straight in the eyes, “Broken is how she turned out. Always thinking everything is her fault, always apologizing for doing the simplest of things, always running away from human contact, always scared, even though she doesn’t show it, I can hear her crying in the bathroom at night so no one can hear her, I hear her small cries for help when she is sleeping and having a nightmare. She killed the man for God sakes. How could you possibly think that was the right thing to do?” Cordelia was furious her voice would break as she would speak about you.

“A child born under the same circumstances but slightly different was born recently, a child who had the opposite of her, a child who now will bring the end of this world. It was necessary for her to go through life as she did, because she will be crucial to saving this world, or she will help destroy it.” 

“You must know or have an idea of where she could be.” Cordelia trying to calm herself, she thought to herself the goal is to get you out of perdition.

“We might.” Your teenage self spoke out loud. “I am not certain but we are the same person, I think we should be able to help.”

“Lead the way.” Cordelia smiled at the children, hopeful.


	6. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiona has a conversation with reader about the future of her daughter, this leads reader to leave the Academy and essentially break Delia’s heart.

You and Cordelia have been together for around two years now, you both have had your ups and downs by now, however only a few select people actually know you and Cordelia are involved romantically, one of your biggest problem is that Cordelia has not told her own mother about it, with good reason, but you can’t help but think that Cordelia is somewhat embarrassed, but of course that thought loops in your mind. Fiona Goode scares the shit out of you whenever you catch her looking at you, you just know she knows something.

One morning on which Cordelia had to get up real early and go out with Myrtle and a few chosen girls to scout for other witches that might be living in the area, you found yourself alone in a quiet room, the sun beaming from the window into your bed, you stretch your arms and get up to go to the bathroom to start your day.   
You open the door ready to head out and go down for breakfast when you almost stumble on Fiona who was at the door about to knock, you froze right there when you got a good look at her, struggling to speak she opens her mouth, “We need to talk.” She welcomes herself into the room and orders you to sit with a hand gestures.

“What is this about Mrs. Goode?” It was obvious your tone of voice you seemed scared, you tried to get yourself together.

“I am going to ask you a series of questions and I need you to answer truthfully, and do not try to be smart with me, I can tell if you are lying.” She looked around the room, almost as if she was trying to find a glass to pour herself a drink as she usually does. You nodded in agreement to what she said, you knew what was coming. “Are you or are you not dating my daughter?” she turns on a cigarette while turning her back to you, not looking at you while she asks her questions.

“Yes, I- we are, we are dating.”

“How long now?”

“About two years…”

“Two? Unbelievable.” She sounded shocked, almost as if she actually cared that her daughter hadn’t told her. She turned around to have a look at you, almost as if analyzing you. “OK, I am going to make myself very clear, and I need you to listen very carefully.” You nodded at her words.

“You and my daughter are to not be roommates anymore and you will break up with her. There will be no more of this nonsense.”

Your eyes wide open all that came out of your mouth was almost a wheeze, breathless, you felt as if you just could not breath, as you try to compose yourself and gather strength and attempt to talk.   
“Why would I do that? Do you even know what you are asking? You truly don’t know your daughter if you think switching rooms is going to keep us” You stood up from the chair. “I will do no such thing, I’d like for you to leave, please.”

“Sit. Down.” She pointed her finger at you in motion down which caused you to forcefully sit back onto the chair. “I need you to think, child.” Fiona trying to rationalize with you on how you should leave her daughter. “Do you actually think anyone will want a Lesbian running a school of young girls? Do you actually believe that you could give her everything a man can?” Fiona took a drag out of her cigarette and let the smoke come out of her mouth “A child? A life? She will always have to look under her shoulder to take care of you.” Her words, piercing through your heart. “I read your file, I know all about you, you’re the kind of child who won’t recover from her past atrocities, and you will bring my daughter down with you.”

“Don’t… Don’t pretend like you care about her…” tears coming down from your face while your gaze was at the floor. “You don’t know me.”

“That is also another thing.” She walked toward you, circling around the chair on which you were sitting on. “You killed your foster dad with, from what looks like being burned from the inside out. Does she know that too? Does she know what you truly are?” Each word she said you felt a pin stabbing you in the chest. “She will find out. Sooner or later, and she will run away from you.” She took another drag out of her smoke. 

“Did you like it? The feeling?” You kept muttering repeatedly “no…” very softly, crying, tears running down your face, how could this woman do this, so manipulative. “I mean, the son of a bitch had it coming, there is no doubt about that. A human who touches children and films it, absolutely sick. The best thing you could of done in my opinion.” She was almost grinning at the thought. It was an accident, it was not your fault, that doesn’t make you a bad person, you kept thinking to yourself.

“Stop.” You pleaded, “Just stop.” You couldn’t move out of the chair and run away, all you could do is sit there helplessly and listen.

“You are also right, as long as you are under this roof, she will try to find a way and so will you.” You immediately turn your gaze to her.

“No. I am not leaving this school.” Your body started feeling less numb and you could move little by little. She looked surprised, she has not lifted the spell that is keeping you seated. “You will not separate me from the one thing in my life that has any meaning.”

“Child, you need to learn to depend on yourself, not others. I will be doing you, me and her a favor. You need to learn how to survive by yourself, only person who has to give your life ‘meaning’ is yourself.” She used more strength to keep you seated. “Your insecurities, at the end of the day, will drown my daughter down with you and I will not allow that. You must leave, in time you will forget her and so will she and this will just be but a distant memory.”

She dropped the spell and allowed you to move, you were trembling, hard of breath, your hands buried on your face trying to stop the tears from coming down.

“Have I made myself clear?” Fiona asked sternly.

“Yes.”

“Make it believable, or she will go after you. I have sent your files to the Coven up the north.” She looked at you as she made her way to the door. “Teenage love never lasts, this is just a case of two puzzles trying to find their missing piece just to find out that at the end, neither of you had it.”

You sat there, alone in the room again, looking around you, taking everything in, almost as if you were saying goodbye to this room, the covers, the smell of lavender candles, the smell of Cordelia’s perfume which is always lingering around the room. You take in deep breaths, preparing yourself for the acting, stood up and started getting your bags and filling it up. All that went through your mind is, leave now before she comes back or wait for her to come into the room and find you packing, break up with her there and pretend as if you aren’t saying goodbye to the only thing that makes the stars in the sky look like a joke.

It wasn’t long after that Myrtle and the girls arrived at the school, but for you it felt like hours waiting in the room. You could hear them coming in through the front door, you set your backpack beside you on the bed, as you sat there your gazing was on the floor, you were trying not to look at the door, you knew you would start crying and you needed her to believe. 

“I’ll see you guys later, I’m going to check in on Y/N.” You heard Cordelia outside the door, talking to Monserate. “Give her a slight punch for me, please.” You could hear them both giggles. Monserate tend to give you none painful punches every now and then, you don’t truly know why, but you just thought it was her way of being, so you accepted it.

Cordelia opens the door to which you grasp your hands and take a deep breath. As she walks in and closes the door behind her “Hey! You won’t believe how many witches are in New Orleans that don’t kno-“ she sees you on the bed with your bags packed. She slows down and changes her gaze from you to your backpacks. “Are you going somewhere?” she asked confused as she put her bag on her bed and heads towards you. You stood up from the bed and faced her, serious, holding all emotions in. 

“I’m leaving the school.”

“What? Why?”

“Cordelia, I can’t stay here, I can’t keep pretending.” You gulped hard, gripping your backpack. Cordelia stares at you with her eyes already starting to water.

“What are you talking about, where would you go?” She started hyperventilating in front of you. You were trying so hard to hold yourself and not break.

“Delia, I need for you to not go after me, please.” You picked up your bag and put it on your shoulder.

“Did I do something wrong…?” 

“I just can’t pretend anymore Cordelia. I don’t feel anything for you and I don’t belong here.” Shivers went down your spine as the words came out of your stupid mouth. You could see the girl in front of you breaking down.

“Pretend? What? Since when… I’m so confused. Why are you doing this?” She sat down on the bed, her face buried on her hands. 

You took a deep breath, looked forward and headed to the door. “If it’s worth anything. I am sorry.” You looked back at her, you wanted to drop that bag and tell her you don’t mean anything, tell her that her mother is a horrible person, but then you remember that Fiona was right, you are not a good influence on Cordelia and the last thing you want is to be a burden. 

You walked out the door, went outside to find a car waiting for you, the one that will take you to another school. Once the door of the car closed and locked, you couldn’t hold down the tears anymore and burst out crying.

I’m so sorry my love… I hope one day you will forgive me.


	7. She Tortured You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been a decade since you’ve left the school, you are now part of the council of witches with Myrtle and your mutual best friend with Cordelia, Monserate. You have come to investigate what happened to Madison Montgomery and you find yourself dreading the worst when you find out Cordelia had been attack.

It has been a decade or so after you left the Academy and moved to a new one.  You still kept contact with Monserate and some of the girls, even though you didn’t directly talk to Cordelia, you still knew what went on in her life. 

Throughout these years you have made some friendships at the school you graduated from, you have traveled the world by now, trying to find any clue as to why you feel so different from other people, if you’re truly a witch or not, but never truly found a concrete answer only rumors about seers so called “Clockwork” but you never found one.  You taught a few classes, and better yourself in magic, you found out you could read people's auras and had a certain level of healing powers, your telekinesis and pyrokinesis abilities were off the chart according to Myrtle. As far as relationships you had a few flings here and there but never anything serious. Feelings is something you rather avoid, and rather not bother at all.

Myrtle after leaving the Academy and making Cordelia the new Headmistress, joined the Council of witches as the leader due to the absence of Fiona Goode to lead it, she has gone through various members to join her in the council, but she has you and Monserate as her council members in the present time, wherever the council gets called you go. Throughout those years you have found out that Cordelia moved on and became Foxx, she is now married to a none-magic man named Hank Foxx, the thought of that always hit you hard on the chest, you weren’t exactly a jealous person and you did wanted Cordelia to move on and be happy, but it just hurt you to see it. 

This time the council was summoned at the Academy due to the disappearance of Madison Montgomery, Nan the clairvoyant had called the council because she couldn’t sense Madison anymore.   We waited for Cordelia to come down and acknowledge our presence in the living room, she rushed down the stairs and met us.

 

“Wow.  I had no idea the council would be joining us today.” Cordelia met Myrtles eyes, Monserate who was her childhood friend and then yours, she stayed on your gaze for a few seconds longer than the rest.  Myrtle walked forward to greet her, they mumbled a few things. 

We discussed the situation occurring in the academy.  Fiona walked in and ordered Cordelia to stop talking and started mocking Myrtle.  Then we proceeded to the interviews...

 

An interview of every single member of the Coven who resides there was done, Myrtle and Fiona had a big argument about events that occurred back when Fiona became the first Supreme.   Throughout all of this, you couldn’t take your eyes of Cordelia, and it made you so upset how she would defend her mother like that against Myrtle. Cordelia gave you the occasional glare, you could almost feel her trying to question you, you felt a certain spite coming out of her towards you. 

 

After everything, and everyone seemed to be discussing the situation you decided to head to the kitchen for a drink, as a member of the council you will have to do some scraying later that day for Madison.  In the kitchen you pour yourself some water and as you close the door of the fridge you notice a figure on the doorway, once you look you notice it’s Cordelia.

 

_ Oh boy… here we go.  _

 

You take a sip of water while looking at her, she looked like she was about to hit you, you were preparing yourself. 

 

“Well, you are the prettiest painting in this Academy.” you smirked, might as well play it cool.

“Shut up.”  She rushed towards you, you drinked your water fast, might as well be well hydrated if you’re going to die.  “What are you doing here?” She started to question you.

 

“I’m part of the council we were called to asses the situation.”  she seemed to get furious.

 

“That is not what I mean” 

 

“Whether you like it or not, I am part of this Coven and part of it’s council” You tried to take a few steps back.  She took a deep sigh and pressed the top of her nose with her fingers as if she was wearing a headache. “I know it’s been long…”

 

“Yes.  Yes it has been.”  she crossed her arms.

 

“I know there is a due conversation here, a very long and complicated one.  But we must try to get along and resolve this. Please.” she nodded. 

 

Both of you went back into the crowded room of witches.

 

\-----

 

_ Buzz, Buzz. _

_ Buzz, Buzz. _

_ Buzz, Buzz. _

 

Your phone kept vibrating, 3am in the morning, you finally open your eyes and got out of the covers to go look at your phone.  It was Myrtle.

 

_ “My dear, we have a problem.”  _

 

You called immediately worried.  She answers.

 

“Was Madison found?” you asked the redhead.  

 

“No my dear.”  she denied, now confused what the hell could of happened. “I need you to stay as calm as you can when I tell you this.”  You felt a rush in your head, you kind of felt where this is going. 

 

“Cordelia?” You stood up from the bed.  “Did something happened to Cordelia? Myrtle.”

 

“She was at the bar with Fiona and while she was in the bathroom they attacked her.” your eyes suddenly burning fire, Myrtles voice echoes in your head, the thought of Cordelia being attacked, harmed in any way.  “She is alive, she is at the hospital.”

 

“Where?” you rushed and got dressed as Myrtle told you the name of the hospital.  

 

You rushed toward the hospital, went to the floor and asked where her room was, they wouldn’t tell you because you weren’t a relative, you winked at the nurse which caused an enchantment which would allow you to manipulate her and get the information as she won't remember afterwards.  You rushed toward the room and immediately noticed Fiona sitting bedside her on the bed holding her hand.

 

“What happened?” you shouted at Fiona, your voice rushed, fatigued. As you caught your breath you looked at Cordelia and noticed her face was disfigured.  “Who did this?” anger began building up.

 

“Hooded figure, how did you found out?”

 

“Myrtle texted me.” 

 

She scoffed, “Of course she did.” you were a bit confused as to why she would say that but brushed it off.  “Doctor said that acid was thrown at her and she will be completely blind.” She stood up, looked at you from head to toe and sat down at the chair beside the bed.

 

“No, no, no, no.” you almost begged that this wasn’t happening, not to her.  “There has to be a way we can fix this.”

 

“There isn’t.” Fiona rolled her eyes to look at her daughter.

 

“You’re the fucking Supreme what do you mean there isn’t.”  you shouted at her.

 

“And don’t you question that! You ungrateful bastard.” You were about to respond to her, you were so mad, so was she.  In that moment Hank walks in, “Well look who decided to show up.”

 

…

 

“At least I come home to her, I’ve never just abandoned her.” Hank snarled at Fiona, the words echoing in your head, identified by them.

 

“Because you know she is the best you’ll ever have.  Thank Christ you couldn’t knock her up.” You just stood there listening, you haven’t been in her life you don’t know what truly has gone on, you have no say in this.  They kept bickering at each other and you have had just enough of it.

 

“SHUT UP.” You raised your voice and both quieted and looked at you.  “We are here for her and all you two can do is bark at each other?”

 

...

“You have 15 minutes with her and then I’ll be back, and both of you will disappear.” Fiona left the room after the nurse told us we had to leave and only one could stay.  You watch as Hank breaks down in front of Cordelia, promising her he’d never go away, you made your way toward the door. 

 

“I love you so much.” he placed his hand on her and Cordelia opened her eyes with a big gasp.  I almost dashed toward her when Fiona came in and ordered us to leave. 

 

\------------

 

It was a cold dark night and you decided to go check on Cordelia at the academy.  She was blinded and you felt the need to help her and be there. 

As you stood in front of the door of the Academy, you took a deep sigh and knocked on the door.  No response, you knocked again and the door opens immediately, showing Zoe on the other side. 

 

“Don’t you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” you joked at seeing Zoe that seemed jumpy.  She ‘heh’ at you.

 

“You have no idea.”  You looked behind her searching to see if something had happened.

“Everything OK? May I come in?”

 

“OH, yes, yes.  Please. I’m sorry… we had a situation.” You walked in and Zoe closes the door behind her.

 

“What kind of situation? Is Cordelia OK?” Your worried voice could be noticed, you were already in position to run up the stairs and heck on her.

 

“We had a Ghost attack.” 

 

“Which Ghost?”

 

“The Axeman.”

 

“How did he become ethereal?” Zoe trailed down to the floor, guilty.

 

“We were trying to find Madison so we used a Ouija board…” 

 

“Is he still trapped in the house? Where is Cordelia?” You basically face palmed knowing quite well now how it could of happened.

 

“No, we vanished him.” you tilted your head at the thought ‘vanish’, a group of young witches had that much power? “Miss Foxx is in her room, she’s a bit startled with everything.”  You nodded at her words and made your way upstairs.

 

Knocking at her door, you stood in front of it.  A feeling of De Ja Vu crossed your body as you remember the first time you knocked on her door so many years ago and became roommates.

 

“I’m OK girls, really.”  She says from the other side of the door.

 

“It’s me, Delia.” you could hear complete silence in the room… suddenly you heard stomps of her cane as if she was moving.

 

“Come in.” you opened the door and walked into the room, it looked a little messy because of the confrontation with the axeman, as you notice on the floor pills were spilled beside her bed.

 

“Are you OK?” you went toward her bed and bent down to pick up the pills.

 

“I am fine, I just made a small mess.” She stood near the bed, moving her head in angles, as if she was trying to find the best way to see you.  “Why are you here?”

 

“I went to see you at the hospital and ever since you woke up I haven’t been able to talk to you, so…” You noticed something was missing, “Where’s Hank?” you looked around.

 

“He… we decided to take some time off.” She tried to avoid expressing what had happened.

 

“In a time like this? Are you serious?”

 

“Some things came up.  I’m sorry can we not talk about this.” you put the pills inside a tissue to dispose later.

 

“Do you need help with anything, Delia, I am here if you need me.” you assured her.  Cordelia scoffed.

 

“Now you’re here when I need you?  That’s rich.” and now the conversation you have been avoiding for years seem to have arisen. 

 

“Cordelia, I…” she cut you off.

 

“I am more than capable of taking care of myself…” she tried to turn to head to her bed and she trips on some books that fell to the feet of the bed due to the situation with the Axeman, you immediately go for her and grab her by the elbow to which she gasps.  Having a vision.

  
\---

**Cordelia's vision:**

 

**_“Did you like it? The feeling?”  You kept muttering repeatedly “no…” very softly, crying, tears running down your face.  Fiona circling the chair you are clearly being forced to stay at._ **

 

**_“Your insecurities, at the end of the day, will drown my daughter down with you and I will not allow that.  You must leave, in time you will forget her and so will she and this will just be but a distant memory.”_ ** **She hears echoes of you crying and begging for her to stop.**

\---

Cordelia starts breathing heavily now, heart raising, looking so confused and tears forming in her white iris eyes.  

 

“Wha- What just happened? Did I hurt you?” you let go of her elbow thinking you grabbed her too hard or something.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you help Cordelia sit down on her bed, she’s sobbing at the thoughts.  

 

“Why did you allow her to do that?” 

 

“What are you talking about, her who?” You were puzzled, nothing made sense.

 

“Fiona.”

 

“Do what Cordelia?”

 

“She was the reason you left.” You were stunned at her words, clairvoyance? 

 

“How do you know that?” you took a deep breath, “She opened my eyes.”

 

“She tortured you.” 

 

“She tortured you too, that is just how she is.  You can see past events now?”

 

“Not always, only by contact.”  She’s sitting by the edge of the bed, looking puzzled.  “All this time…” You proceeded to sit beside her, making sure she is well stabled.  She turns to face you, “all this time I thought you just didn’t… I wasn’t enough.” 

 

“That is the past, there is nothing we can do about that now.” you cleared your throat, doing everything possible to avoid going further into details.

 

“The past? My mother tortured you, basically forced you to leave the school and I am here blind, incapable of birthing a child and with a cheating husband.” you could hear her trying to hold her breath from crying. You were stunned, you didn’t knew anything about her marriage failing…

“I am sorry to hear about Hank… but please, let’s leave the past for another day, I am not going to leave you alone in this room.”  You got up from the bed and turned to her, “Come on, lay back” you pulled the sheets down so she could get in and you can cover her.

 

“I don’t need help.”  she said annoyed. Everyone thought she was helpless.

 

“Whatever you say, scoot back come on.” 

 

“Where will you sleep?”

 

“Well, I planned to sleep on your couch, but it seems… it’s broken, so I’ll just set myself on the floor.”  You set some sheets on the floor and stole one of her pillows, you laid beside her bed.

 

“Thank you.” you hear her say a few minutes later.  This brought a smile to your face that you thank the Gods she can’t see it.

 

“You’re welcome.”


	8. Chapter X - Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your Limbo situation in previous chapters, you went to the Hawthorne School as a council member with Cordelia and Myrtle to test Michael for the 7 wonders. However Michael wants a something in return for bringing Misty back, what with Y/N do?

The council of witches was attending the Hawthorne School for Exceptional Young Men due to the 7-wonder test Cordelia must perform on Michael, you and Myrtle were accompanying her as her council representatives. Walking in to the school Myrtle and Cordelia were going at it on how Michael, a man, should not be tested to become the ‘Alpha’ or the next Supreme, for it is merely impossible, you loved hearing them going at it, it amazes you over the years Cordelia went from hearing everyone’s opinions and just doing what everyone tells her to do, to becoming a strong powerful leader with her own opinions. 

After 6 out of 7 wonders have been done, Cordelia switched last minute what the test will be and everyone separated to discuss it, and prepare for the last and final test. She has had a vision about a white figured man, you are certain she is referring to the future of the Coven if we let this man become Supreme. You went to the bedroom on which you and Cordelia were staying for that night on which you were going to be there, you were looking through some books to make sure it was possible to go through with the idea that Cordelia have had, going to hell and bringing someone back. You were sitting on the bed, reading, you could hear a knock at the door on which followed a small breeze when it was open. It was Michael at the door, you moved your gaze toward him in confusion as to why he would be there, he slowly steps into the room with his hands on his back, confident.

“There is something curious about you.” He spoke, took a pause and scanned the room, “You seem to be different from the rest. You’re not a witch.” 

“I could say the same for you.” You straighten your posture on the bed. “You’re not a Warlock. No, you’re much darker aren’t you.” You could by now see other people’s auras in some way, you could tell bad from good intentions, you could see similar souls. 

“Clever.” Michael walks up to a shelf full of books that you brought from the Coven, they are usually taken with the council. He browses through each of them, he is not facing you. “Your Supreme will require me to bring one specific friend of yours back from hell.” He smiles as he sees the book for resurrection. “Misty Day.” He says, turns around to face you with both his hands toward his back. “I will need an exchange to perform that.” 

“You actually believe YOU can bring someone back from their hell?” you questioned. You were not scared of this figure standing in front of you, you could not quite put what he was, he did seem powerful but what he was is something you couldn’t quite figure out.

“I don’t believe. I know.” He corrected you. 

“What exactly do you want?” you asked, following all his actions across the room with your gaze.

“You.” He kept smiling, you knew something wasn’t quite right, why would he want you? “You see, I will eventually need you, and I can assure you, you will not fight back.” 

You laughed at his idea, “What makes you think I will actually agree?” you closed the book that you were reading and stood up from the bed, now facing him.

“Well, One, if you don’t your friend will remain in her constant hell.” You looked amazed at how evil this man truly is and how the others did not seem to see it. “Second, if you don’t, let’s just say your Supreme will suffer the most painful death on which her soul will not come back from.” You immediately rushed toward him and poked his chest standing your ground.

“If you touch a hair on her bo- “

“I will, do not doubt me.” He waved his hand and this force pulled you and slammed you toward the wall, you could not counter it. “Don’t under estimate my power, you will do as I ask or a faith worse than death will come for you and your bitch Supreme.” You tried to move and fight it, but everything was useless. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” he laughed and made another hand gesture which caused you to drop to the floor.

You weakly tried to get up, you couldn’t believe how powerless you truly are and how much you need to protect her. 

“I expect an answer now.” He walked toward you, cupping your chin on his hand and moving it so you could look at him. Tears coming out of your eyes, you refused to open them. 

“What…” you tried to speak but you kept freezing, the words just slipped out of your mouth, “what do you want me to do?” you opened your eyes and looked at him straight in the eyes, anguish consuming you.

“You will go back to your little Coven after tomorrow, and the next morning you will simply not be there anymore. You will not leave a note, you will not tell anybody, and she will never know.” He smiled as he licked his lips as the thought of abandonment will drown Cordelia’s mind when she doesn’t find you. 

“or, even better, you can pretend you didn’t actually love the Bitch, break her heart right then and there and simply leave. What can ruin someone’s hope for surviving when their leader is heartbroken and lost.”  
The thoughts of both of those things terrified you, you promised you would never leave, not again, and you will not break her heart, you cannot lie. He walked towards the door, about to leave he looks back at you, “your choice.” Smiling he left and closed the door behind him.

“Delia…” you muttered. As you sit down on the bed to think what you should do, knowingly you have to be out of the room in a few to observe Michael finish the 7 wonders, the flash back of “Are You Happy?” (Side Drabble found in my page) happens.

“I am going to keep you from doing your duty…” you whispered to yourself. The words “Don’t do it” kept distantly echoing your head, you sighed at the thought, stood up and fixed yourself, proceeded to go watch this man win.  
-  
“Descensum.” Michael chanted while lying on the floor. Madison, You, Cordelia, Myrtle, Baldwin, Behold and Ariel surrounding him in a circle. All you could do was stand there while that thing went below and got Misty, you couldn’t take your eyes out of Cordelia, imagining what the pain and betrayal she will feel if you did what he wants you to do. 

I must tell her, we can fight him together, she is the Supreme, I’m a fucking angel and we have a house full of witches, there has got to be something we can do, I am not going to put her or me through this, I simply wont. You thought this to yourself, you wont give up.

Forty-Four minutes passed, and the man gasped while pulling half of his body up. Everyone went to him and asked where Misty is, Ariel claiming this wasn’t fair, Madison and Myrtle stating the obvious and then suddenly a ball of dust started forming on the floor next to him, the dust particles formed a body on which essentially formed a face, it was her, Misty Day in the flesh right below Cordelia and the others. 

“There can be no doubt, you are the next Sup-“ Cordelia collapsed on the floor, Myrtle and Misty trying to hold her together, you ran toward her to attempt to pick her up and carry her to the nearest room. After you helped Cordelia set herself on the couch that was in the room, Misty went to make something that would help Cordelia feel better and regain her strength, Myrtle sent the other girls away and you stood there looking at the woman in front of you.

“Are you feeling better? What Happened?” you asked worried, holding her hands on your own. 

 

“My powers are fading.” She looked guilty, as if she had done something so terrible, as if it was her fault for all of this, but you knew better. Her gaze on your entwined hands. “I don’t think we can stop what is coming ahead.” Tears began forming on her eyes. “Gosh, I’m so glad I have you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” She caressed your cheek as she smiled and looked over at Myrtle. “Both of you.”

You must tell her.  
But she is weak, she is saying it herself we can’t beat this.  
All the girls were brought back, we have a fighting chance.  
You must protect her. You have to do what he says.  
Protect her at all cause.  
Protect all of them.

You argued with yourself in your mind, you made a choice, this will be the last day you both spend together you better make it last and make sure she doesn’t doubt your leave, make sure she knows indirectly that you left for her own good.

“You know that I would do anything for you, right?” you asked her, you felt helpless, anxious.

She looked at you confused as why you would say that, “Of course I do, so would I. What’s wrong?” you know she has her visions when she touches people, however ever since you were Limbo and she saved you, her visions with you have not been working, you found a way to shut them off and she knows it, you both agreed it was best to have certain privacy in your relationship. 

“Nothing, I just love you so much sweetheart.” She move forward a little bit and kiss her on the forehead. “I was so scared I had lost you when I saw you collapse.” You scooted her over and sat on the couch with her, caressing her cheek and touching her soft golden hair. “If I knew I could avoid any harm on you…” you looked at her lips, she was about to talk and question why you keep talking this way but you shut her off with a kiss. Surprised she returns it. “My dill pickle.” You mutter under your breath, she giggles every time you call her that.

“I love you, Y/N. I will always love you.” 

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” 

You both stared at each other, smiling, happy. You stand up and slowly walking toward the door without letting go of her hand until your fingertips touch and it’s just air touching your hand. “I’ll be back.” You smiled at her, knowing you wouldn’t, this is gonna be her last memory of you, that is good enough. 

-  
You headed towards the room on which Michael was surrounded of the Warlocks, how they were praising him for doing an amazing job on showing those damn witches how they wont hide in the shadows anymore. Michael saw you walking into the room, everyone turned to see you.

“Would you please excuse us?” Michael said toward the warlocks. They all stared at him and then back at you.

“Are you sure?” Ariel looked at you with hate in his eyes, he wasn’t going to rest till he saw every witch who has belittled him die. “This better not be one of you witches tricks.” 

“Leave I said.” They all left the room, it was just him and you and a roaring fireplace, fueled by the energy you both let out. “What have you decided?”

“Don’t hurt them, and I am yours.” You said confidently, however you felt a pain all over your bones, he walked toward you, passing the back of his hand against your collarbone, you shivered due to his touch, you felt the evil emanating out of him, you have seen evil before when you were a child but this is just… too much.

“Your wish, is my command.”


End file.
